NONE OF THESE THINGS WILL EVER BUY YOU HAPPINESS!
Just so that we’re clear on that.
This is the time of year that many people express their love for each other in explicit ways (second only to Valentine’s Day). Every year around this time, I see this all around. Perhaps a friend just announced a new relationship or an engagement. Maybe it’s people kissing under the mistletoe. Heck, it might even be those Hallmark Channel movies that depict a terrible portrayal of how love happens in the real world — usually around the holidays.
Then I look back on the past nine-or-so years of dating failures in my nonexistent love life… Suffice it to say, New Year’s Eve is the most depressing day of the year for me. Yes, it’s even more depressing than Valentine’s Day.
I still haven’t met anybody who’s willing to spend five seconds on a date with me. This year, I’m taking a different approach to my response.
Quite frankly, if you love somebody, you love them all year round. You don’t need one special day out of 365 to express it. You certainly don’t express it on that one day of the year just because Hallmark tells you to.
When we are kids (at least, when I was a kid), we were all taught that we were all special. On Valentine’s Day, everybody was told to bring enough valentine cards for the entire class, and we did. Fast-forward to high school, and it becomes painfully clear that not everybody is special enough to warrant being a valentine.
For those Puzzle Pieces who’ve learned this all too well, this is why I’m writing to you: WE ARE NOT ANY LESS SPECIAL OR LOVABLE SIMPLY BECAUSE OTHERS DEVOTE THEIR HEARTS TO SOMEONE ELSE. We will have our turn to experience this. I can’t tell you when or how, but it will eventually happen. Someday. That’s the only word of encouragement I can offer right now.
For many people — NT or otherwise — the holidays can feel empty. I know mine do at times. Sure, we give and receive gifts, but what’s the purpose of the gift in the first place? Is it because we need to fill some kind of void inside? Or is it because we care about someone so much, we want to make her world that much brighter, if only for a short while? I believe in the latter.
It’s almost sad to think how different the world would be if we all shared our love with those close to our hearts every day, not just during the holidays or on Valentine’s Day. Sadly, life doesn’t always work that way.
There are five different types of moments in our lives:
1. The Good – Perhaps you just bought that high-end item you’ve been saving up for for so long. Sure, it’s nice to receive something, but there’s more to life than that.
2. The Bad – Maybe your favorite sports team just turned over 48 points to the other team and lost the game. Yeah, it didn’t go your way, but you’re alive, fed, clothed, and you have a roof over your head. You can’t complain too much about that.
3. The Ugly – There’s been a death in the family, or your significant other left you for some other guy. These are the moments when you feel like life will never be the same again.
4. The Beautiful – Your wedding day, or maybe there’s a birth in the family. Either way, these are the moments that make life worth living when all else feels lost.
5. The Indifferent – These are just the everyday moments in your life. Nothing is special about them, right?
The Indifferent moments are an excellent opportunity to show someone that you care on a personal level. You don’t need a special day of the year to do that. Maybe it doesn’t even have to be a particular person. There are many people in our lives; you never know which one of them might need that reminder the most.
This year, even if you don’t have a significant other, show the people in your life that you care in some way. Eventually, you will find the person who takes you for who you are. Until then, may you find peace with yourself, within yourself.