I know I’ve been gone for a few weeks. …Right after I said I’d be posting more often, at that, but there’s only so much a mere mortal can do when he’s dealing with a cold, working on numerous projects at work, his pregnant sister’s due in less than three months…
You get the idea. Something had to give, and I deeply apologize for the fact that this was it.
So to make up for that, I’m treating you all to another round of…
ASK! AN! ASPIE!
I usually tend not to discuss my… what should I call them? My dark sides?
I usually tend not to discuss my dark sides with my readers for the fact that I’m trying to present myself as a positive role model for you guys. However, I’m starting to think that maybe there could be lessons to learn from them. So, here goes…
I have a short fuse. Particularly with my dad, to be quite honest.
So much so that I felt the need to make my resolution this year to have more patience with him. We just had an argument earlier today centered around the steps we take to achieve greater harmony with each other.
He’s my dad, and I love him very much. Sometimes, too much of a good thing becomes less of a good thing beyond a certain level of interaction… If that makes sense.
I have a tendency to shop online when I’m upset. This was especially difficult around the time my sister lost her first pregnancy just before Christmas 2014.
My default volume is loud. My other volume settings include slightly less loud and way louder still. I can start off a sentence at an appropriate volume, but by the end of the sentence, the other person I’m talking to is asking me why I’m yelling.
And the list goes on…
You may be asking me at this point, “Why are you telling us all this? This seems very personal!” And you’d be right; it is very personal.
However, as I said before, I believe there’s a lesson to all this: No matter how far we may progress with our… I guess to complete the reference, I’ll say our light sides…
No matter how far we may progress with our light sides, we will still always have those proverbial skeletons in our closets for us to work on. We are coping with a lifelong diagnosis, which will always impact our logic, our way of seeing the world, our way of understanding the world, and our way of coping with the world.
We are never done learning about ourselves; not even for a moment. I guess what I’m trying to say is regression is natural, but it can’t be the end of the progression. Because if it does mean the end of the progression, our ASD (or even any other diagnosis we may have) has control of us and not the other way around.
If I had ever given in to any one of my dark sides and quit, I wouldn’t be here right now, typing this for you. Fall down ten times, get up eleven. When you do, just know that I’ll be right here with the The Aspie Dialogues, ready to help you get back in the game. Because it’s not what you do wrong that necessarily defines you; it’s about what you do to learn from it.
May you find peace with yourself, within yourself! Rock on, Spectrumites!